When Reality Sets In

I love being a mom. I love being married to my husband, I love our/not really our house, I (usually) love our dog, and I love our constant stream of housemates. 
But…
Being Mom to two preschoolers is tiring, lonely, and sometimes boring. Let’s face it, there are only so many times you can have a conversation about why we don’t put macaroni up our nose before you lose it. Sometimes my husband drives me crazy. Sometimes the house seems to be falling apart. Sometimes, like yesterday, the dog pees on the floor. For no apparent reason other than he wanted to. Sometimes I wish that we could have our house to ourselves, without one of our younger siblings living with us. Sometimes I get so tired of cooking things I know everybody is going to complain about, and trying to convince them all it’s good for them. 
If I had a dime for every time someone told me “enjoy it while it lasts” or “these days go by so quickly”, I would be a rich woman. But the thing is, sayings like that just make moms like me feel guilty. Because we don’t always enjoy it. Sometimes, this stage of our life is just plain unenjoyable. 
I miss daytrips to the beach, I miss antique shopping (have you ever taken a preschooler to an antique shop? It’s similar to taking a giant octopus into a room where everything is highly breakable and expensive and smells like old lady perfume), I miss having spontaneity in our love life (without someone screaming down the hall that they need a drink of water and, oops! They have no idea how that nightlight fell apart again). 
I’m not saying it’s not all worth it, it is. I’m not saying I would make a different decision if I had it to do over, I wouldn’t. I love my kids and our life. But I’m also excited for what is to come.
I’m excited for the first day of kindergarten, for sports and dance. I’m excited to watch them learn to read, and learn to drive. I’m excited to talk to my son about what college he wants to go to, and my daughter about her first love. Sometimes I feel like I’m just drifting along through these early years to get to the real fun later on. 
And I refuse to feel guilty about it. 
Sometimes reality sets in and you can get in a rut, but that’s just life. Sometimes life isn’t fun, sometimes it isn’t enjoyable, but it’s always beautiful and it’s always, always changing. So maybe instead “enjoy it while it lasts”, we should tell young mothers “hang on, everything passes.” 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. raspberrychai
    Jul 22, 2014 @ 15:48:08

    I hate sayings like “enjoy it while it lasts.” There are parts of raising children that I would just assume forget. However, I do things on purpose to remember certain parts that I will treasure. I take pictures, I journal, and sometimes in really special moments, I stop for a minute mentally. But these moments are impossible to capture. And that is okay.

    Reply

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