What I Did Today- Continued

I have an old blog that I occasionally reread to remind myself why we won’t be having any more kids. It’s called “What I Did Today”, and it is the hour-by-hour account of life with an infant. I got pretty good feedback on it, too, so I thought that since it’s been three years, one more kid, four different teenage/twenty-something housemates, and a puppy later, I might do another. Toddler-style.

What I Did Today

Clean up puppy poop, wash dogbed. Lie awake wondering just how much I would be judged for giving away Puppy. 
Fall back asleep
Retrieve blanky from behind toddler bed, quiet toddler.
Fall back asleep. 
Turn off alarm
Roll out of bed, put dog out
Open bedroom doors (aka, release the Krakens)
“No, you may not have Quesadillas for breakfast. Or Taquitos. Or burritos. Or grilled cheese.”
Change toddler’s diaper, put underwear on preschooler.
Start making Paula Dean’s Stuffed French Toast
Break up fight #1. Bring dog back inside.
Go back to Paula Dean
Break up fight #2. Get dog out of garbage can.
Glare at Paula Dean and consider Cheerios.
Line all three, dog and children, up along the cabinet so I can see them all and they can’t reach each other or anything else. “Stay!”
Blood sugar check
Put soggy french toast and cold syrup on plates, cut into dime-size pieces, serve. Inhale own breakfast.
Give 2 injections to screaming preschooler, put ointment in the eye of screaming toddler.
Make coffee. Realize that preschooler has just knocked on the bedroom door and woke up Daddy. 
Decide that since Daddy is awake anyway, it’s time for a shower. 
Realize that Housemate has just gotten into the shower.
Pour a cup of coffee.
Disentangle toddler from still-buttoned dress that is stuck around her forehead. Notice that Preschooler has on a tank top with more stain than shirt. Contemplate whether this is a battle to fight. 
Fight the battle. Win by the skin of teeth.
Read 4 library books aloud. One of them has to be sung. Who writes this drivel, anyway? Refrain from commenting on the likely outcome if a goose were to try to befriend a bear in real life. 
Take first drink of now-tepid coffee. Make Husband’s breakfast. 
Break up fight #3. Wonder where Puppy is. 
Put Daddy on Duty, race to the shower. 
Tepid shower. 
Discover that Daddy has turned on cartoons, thereby relieving me of the guilt of doing it myself. Wash dishes leftover from dinner last night.
Break up fight #4. Confiscate toy sword. Whose bright idea was THAT?
“Your sister does not have to obey you. She has to obey ME.”
“I can’t hear what you’re saying, but it sounds like your tattling voice.”
“If you want to go outside, you must wear clothes.”
“You must wear your OWN clothes.”
“If you want to go outside you must be wearing your OWN shirt AND pants AND TWO of your OWN shoes.” 
“No, we are playing in the grass, not the dirt.”
“You may not dig in the dirt. You may play in the grass.”
“Please don’t feed the Puppy dandelions.”
“Get out of the dirt, NOW. I KNOW Mommy is in the dirt, Mommy is weeding the garden. No, you are NOT weeding the garden.” 
Announce that it’s time to go in for lunch.
Catch toddler and puppy and carry them inside, kicking and screaming.
Scrub grubby little fingers. Wash own hands. Despair of ever having nice nails again.
Scrub dirt off toddler’s face. Change diaper, wonder how in the world so much dirt got into it. 
Contemplate lunch. 
Decide that boiled soybeans are as good as it’s going to get today. 
Accidentally pour sugar in boiling water. Dump water and sugar down drain.
Reboil water, add SALT and soybeans. 
Blood sugar check
Serve soybeans with jerky and cheese sticks. 
“No, no! Don’t eat the outside, just the inside!”
Announce that it is naptime. 
Catch both children, put pullup on preschooler.
Deposit each child in their respective bed. 
Replace toddler in bed.
Decide between finishing dishes and writing. 

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