A Call to Arms

What is the matter with kid’s books today? The other day I picked up a book that absolutely shocked me. It was an ongoing series centering on an overweight and quite naive bear, who eats nothing but honey, (Spelled ‘hunny’ in the book) and has an aversion to pants.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to teach our children irresponsible eating habits and immodesty, the bear’s best friend is an agoraphobic pig, who stutters and hides from everything. Also included are an eco-friendly nudist rabbit who is, unfortunately, badly in need of anti-anxiety medicine, a tiger with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, an owl with a superiority complex, a clinically depressed donkey whose tail habitually falls off, and a small kangaroo with mommy issues. In addition to this psychiatrist’s paradise of disorders, all of the animals have an abnormal fear of elephants, and an inability to pronounce the word ‘elephant’. (Once again, what are we teaching our children?)
Although the stories usually have a happy ending, characters fall from ridiculous heights, float away on balloons, constantly frustrate each other, and have unrealistic and dangerous adventures.
I call for a ban on this dangerous and dysfunctional book! Protect our children from it’s unhealthy ideas!


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